Saying farewell

I attended my last council meeting last night. It was the first meeting in four months since September 2025. Perhaps that’s why I am leaving. I like to follow rules. I am intent in following the church’s constitution that says meetings must be held at least once in two months. You can’t get a united team if we meet so irregularly. As chairman in my first two churches, I chaired meetings every month, elders’ meetings followed by the church council meetings without fail for 5 years. Likewise, I did the same in Ranau, once a month meeting with the elders and then, the church council meetings without fail with all the deacons and deaconesses.

So last night I spoke for the last time, responding the last meeting’s minutes. One member left for another church and then I explained why the District banned my participation in the district’s AGM last October just as I was not allowed to be nominated in our State’s AGM one week ago. 

I thought my church leaders that I spent 14 months with deserved some explanation from their pastor. When given an opportunity to speak in response, only 4 out of the 12 leaders spoke out and thanked me for my ministry. The others even pressed by the chairman kept quiet. Not even one word of thanks. After 14 months of service, most decided to say nothing. One or two indicated that they might speak or text to me personally. 

I know my decision to resign was correct. I have lost majority support. People can be so nice to your face but stab you in the back. One needs to know when one must go and depart to another place. At the end of last year, I felt the Lord gave the verse, “Sow not among thorns!” There are more thorns than roses. I will leave without regrets. I have given my all. 

I spent 6 hours covering 6 sessions in our last December’s last retreat. It was as if the last chance for the leaders to hold on to their pastor. But the vision falls on deaf ears. There was no response. So there will be a farewell speech on the 1st February to the whole congregation telling them that my last Sunday is on 22nd February, three long weeks for them to say farewell to their pastor. 

Most I presume would not care whether I stay or not. One deaconess wept last night and I will always remember her tears and her heartfelt words of support: “I learned so much from pastor’s sermons. It’s like I am in Bible School. Pastor is a teacher to me and not just church members but pastor is a teacher to the other pastors - guru kepada pastor-pastor lain.” So after just 35 minutes I bid them farewell and the meeting carried on as I left the room.