Spiritual Birthday

Only one person commented that I should celebrate my spiritual birthday which is today, 24th April as I was born again or known by God on the 24th April 1982 in Christchurch, New Zealand. But everything goes back to the first time Jesus Christ appeared to me and called into His service a year later. Those two encounters in April 1982 and May 1983 determined the course of the rest of my life and I am determined to serve the Lord Christ until the end of my days. He is alive. He has died for our sins. 

Blogging highlights

I thought to myself why don’t I focus more on blogging since in the past two months it is reaching more than 10,000 readers per month. I know it will ebb and flow but blogging has given me some marvellous benefits including a full-time job in Singapore in 2008 and numerous friends whom I lost touch had reconnected with me through coming across my blog.

I am still Alive

After a bout with illness, one realises just how close we are to death where every one alive will meet one day. If I am still alive, it is because God still has a duty for me on earth. For He is the Lord over all the earth and He has His purposes for this earth, for every nation, tribe and language. When someone comments that my ministry revolves around kampung folks (village people) I felt a sense of pride, not unworthiness. Who will go and teach these kampung folks? Yes, there are many preachers and itinerants as well, but not many have the knowledge that God has given me. It is enriching for all concerned at least for someone with my background preaching to the village folks.

One Month to Go

Today I have gone past the one month's mark before I take my annual leave and move out of my apartment and await a new ministry. It is surreal. I did not particularly feel anything except a tinge of sadness as we met as a family group at noon. No one said anything when I told them one more month I shall be gone. I guess everyone has a life to live like Paul said, "many look after their own interests, but not the interests of Jesus Christ" (Philippians). With so many invitations coming my way (whole month of May is filled up) I had no time to reflect except to prepare for my classes and preaching engagements in the week-end. Might as well since I would not have much to time to feel despondent or sad that my time is cut short. Alas it is God's will and there is a greater purpose in all these.

Minimum Pay

In Malaysia it has been more than two years that RM1,500.00 per month minimum wage has been put into effect by law. But how come so many of my fellow pastors get only less than that and some of them only half of the minimum pay? I cried for them for those who faithfully serve You O Lord would You not look from heaven and help them? They do a wonderful job with 5 evening services a week which means only two nights of rest for family and self rejuvenation.

A Lifetime of Achievements

In the world it might be that a few ambitious individuals will want to live a life filled with achievements. But the vast majority of people will be content with a few highlights in their careers with few achievements to be proud of. It is called to survive in this ever challenging world. The sad fact of the matter is that most Christians will also depart this world with little fruits to show for, even among many full-time workers, pastors and the like in church. For many it will be like any other career, maybe they had the sensed of calling in their teenage years or early twenties when they entered Bible College but soon the run of the mill demands of ministry and complexity of working with people, leaders of the local church would dry up even the very persistent and only a handful can truly claim to retain its sparks and fire of God's calling in their lives and at the end of it claim to live a life filled with achievements.

Golden Triangle of Theology

To see the fulfilment of the "Golden Triangle of Theology" which I wrote in my "Tuhan Tritunggal" (God the Trinity) book, a collection of essays, I plan to visit these two places in the near future. Next year I plan to visit Sarawak our Bornean neighbour and the year after, Kalimantan to visit Indonesia's new capital and perhaps also Balikpapan and Samarinda, the twin cities of East Kalimantan. In two years' time with the new Indonesian President firmly in place in Nusantara, I pray that I will establish connections between the three major Bornean provinces, the two States of East Malaysia and Pulau Kalimantan.

Joy Inexpressible

It was exultation while it lasted.  But nothing lasts forever on this side of eternity. It went on for exactly three weeks, about mid March to 3rd April 2024. In the past couple of days I did not feel that joy inexpressible anymore. It was glimpse of heaven. It propelled me to preach 7 sermons in two weeks while having a full load of teaching on the side. Surely the joy of the Lord is my strength. We translated the passage last Monday that Jesus said “ask and you shall receive so that your joy may be full” (John 16). It was a line from the sermon on the Mount minus the part on joy.

Serving with Great Joy

I have come to a phase of ministry that I cna this sense of great joy whenever I minister, even in preparation and anticipation I rejoice greatly in the Lord. It is only three weeks ago that I received news that my brother was going to be elevated as High Court Judge and received his appointment from Malaysia’s king and swore his oath of loyalty to the Federal Constitution before a bench of Justices led by the Chief Justice and the Chief Judge of Malaya and Sabah and Sarawak.I watched the live telecast wuth pride as my brother took the oath of office and his list of work experience and qualifications were read out.

Anticipation Rises

In less than 10 weeks I am done here. It is welcomed with much anticipation as I am not meant for round the mill grind of teaching without leadership responsibilty. It is hard to imagine what I could have done only if people have eyes to see. My only sermon last July is telling. The knowledge of God is understanding but there is little of knowing God and hence the lack of understanding. Anyhow, it is no loss and no gain for the past 12 months. No loss because inevitably some students will be blessed but others are here just for the qualification.

2nd Quarter of 2024

Yesterday and today I feel a great sense of joy and hope for the 2nd quarter of the year. First, by middle of this year I shall be relieved of my duties of teaching three new courses which prevented me from writing and research. I plan to start writing at the 3rd quarter of 2024 or the start of the 2nd half of the year. I look forward to it with great relish at least to begin John 13-21, being the 2nd volume of my commentary on John’s Gospel. I may also write a book on Revelation, mainly thematic as a commentary will take too long a time.

At the foot of Mount Kinabalu

I am amazed at how my indigenous brothers live in villages, often times at valleys at the foot or sides of Mount Kinabalu the tallest mountain in Malaysia. I literally drove to the end of the road passing by a village I preached in some 5 years ago in Lingkubang. This village is just 1.5 kms further inside but there is a reasonably sized church that could seat 250 people if packed. They announced the attendance at the two services the first attended by 156 adults and 58 children and last night’s service attended by 116 adults.  I wonder where the 40 or so adults had gone, but at the end of the service I realised that 40 missing worshippers were teenage boys because many of the teenage girls greeted me in front as it is the tradition in some SIB churches that the preacher stands in front of the congregation and they come forward to shake hands and bid the preacher farewell.

Preaching Season Begins

I did not realize that my preaching season has commenced again after a month’s hiatus. I had preached three full sermons of 50 minutes and longer. Yesterday in church I preached for 53 minutes in heat without air conditioning as the power box exploded at 8.15am just after I arrived for the 9am service. We waited 15 mins for the fireman to come and they put out the slight fire at the source at 9am sharp. We managed to get the service started at 9.07am without power supply but we opened all the windows so there was plenty of light and a bit of wind blowing through. I felt myself sweating throughout but never once bothered me until the lights came on again in the last 5 minutes of the sermon.

My Preaching Duties are Done!

As for my current place of ministry, my preaching duties here are done. I thank everyone concerned for giving me the opportunity to be the main speaker of the Seminary's Retreat.  I think due to some faculty support, my invitation to speak was not withdrawn despite me leaving the Seminary by middle of the year. It was good to a have "farewell speech" though it was nothing of that sort as I focused on the theme given to me "The Good Shepherd - John 21:15-18". I told the Chaplain earlier that I would speak on the text in my first session and in my second and last session on John 10 where the inscription of the "Good Shepherd' appears twice in John 10:11, 14. The first session was more organised in that I had 17 slides ready but by the 14th slide I sensed my time had run out, truly it was exactly 1 hour, the time given to the speaker each session.

There is no place like Home

Home is where my ministry for the Lord is. Often times I will not go back to my own home except for once a week that I need to make sure the house is in order and my other car is also running well. I try to alternate between the two cars and but my main stay is the Seminary and soon it will be over in just a bit more than 2 months. I will go on my annual leave by the fourth week of May and probably move all my things out by middle of June. This time, it may be strenuous as one ages and unable to do any heavy lifting, but it is a lot easier compared to my several moves back and forth of Ranau between 2014-2019.

“I have given you multiple gifts”

Besides preaching, worship is essential to any Christian gathering. Despite standing between five men I was right in the middle in the front row I was moved by the worship of the whole church. When His people focus on Him, He comes to bless His children with His presence and answers their many needs. I raised my hand, just one hand for the first couple of songs because I did not want to intrude on my neighbours just a few inches besides me.

There is a division among the people concerning Him (John’s Gospel)

There are a number of occasions that John’s Gospel mentioned Jesus being the cause of division among the people. Today I sat between two fellow pastors, one slightly older than I am and the other more than 15 years older already in his retirement but still preaching in his local church. Both cannot be more different. One sang my praises before he preached and I was honoured by him in the sight of the whole church. But as we talked after service he paid great attention to what I said and by now most people know I am moving on from my current place of ministry.

Full-time Author

For almost three years now, I have considered myself a full-time author except this sudden one-year appointment which is coming to an end in a few months' time. Apart from teaching here in KK, I have one more teaching commitment to keep in May, then it will be free. I watched a couple of "early retirement" videos last night, but as for me it will be seeking the Lord's will, though no one is immune to human deliberations and planning. "Man may plan his ways, but the Lord's purpose will stand." I might return to full-time writing in the near future. 

Retiring Early?

I am a frugal person but my good friend may not agree with me because he thinks I drive a nice car. In fact, one walks by faith and not by sight. God adds wealth without sorrows as I bought my car three years ago with my EPF. The office was going to be closed for those without full doses of vaccination, so I thought I better take my money out. I regret it not a moment. I have been enjoying life and a car is just a vehicle of transport but since we spent many hours a week in a car, a good car is almost an essential in Sabah. There is no reliable public transport here in Kota Kinabalu. I am not afraid to retire early because I do not think I have worked a day in my life. I love serving God. I love serving in a full-time capacity, whether I am paid for my services or not. For 18 months, I lived on my savings with no fixed income, writing two books in the process that have become a blessing to many.

Doing Nothing, Doing Everything

In barely three months, this phase of my ministry will be over. One walks by faith and not by sight. Whenever I lecture with the wealth of experience and learning granted by the Lord, I felt there is no better place for me than in a classroom imparting my knowledge and expertise to all who come. One student even called me "sifu" ("master" in the sense of an expert in martial arts). I doubt he had known my own illustration of being a black belt with 6 Dans with each "dan" representing a book that I have published. But alas, this teaching ministry is short-lived. It is truly ironic that much lesser mortals will go on forever for they are the establishment, those who do the bidding of their boss and leader. But who does the will of God the Father and look after the interests of Jesus Christ?

Conscious during the Night

I have been experiencing something that I rarely do in waking up at odd hours and my mind fixed on my next big move or no move at all. I ponder and pray in my mind there would be time I need the whole hour before falling back to sleep. No move at all could be the best outcome because I am so familiar with so many things around me, all the creaturely comforts, my home, cars and cafes dotted around KK that I visit a couple of times per week. I dine out quite a bit which something I can't do if I live overseas as most places are expensive in terms of dining out. I spent a month's pay on food alone for the 4 weeks I spent with my son when he was at varsity in 2012. My son only cooked once, and I realised cooking, like his dad is not his forte. So I spent on lunches and dinners for both myself and son.

Decision Time

Every decade of my life there seems to a big move on my part. I started serving in 1994 and in 2003 the first big move of becoming pastor of our mother church in Likas straight after completing my PhD. Then the next big move in 2013-2014 in deciding to move back from Singapore to Sabah and now in 2024 it will be another big move, perhaps farther than just South East Asia, to the ends of the earth. From the land of my birth to the land of my spiritual birth.

Conferences?

In the past fortnight so many things had happened that the last thing on my mind was Conference attendance. But this morning I received an email a kind of reminder from my friend who wanted to invite me to Society of New Testament Conference in Melbourne. A few weeks ago Melbourne was farthest from my mind as I was planning for an European trip but suddenly circumstances changed that now the only possible conference attendance is in Melbourne.

Three Months

The end is just as the beginning. I wrote in my last chapter of Departure Points. This Lunar New Year’s break has given me a bit of a reprieve. I have time to think and make plans for the future. Now I know what to do come April. I do not want to leave it to May as my lectures will end middle of May. There are only three months left.

New Year’s Reset

There are distinct advantages of celebrating two new years; one Western and the other, the Lunar New Year that fell on Saturday, 10th Feb 2024 ushering the year of the Dragon. I received eight or nine CNY wishes from close friends, most of which were decorated with dragon themes. But do you know that even for Christians a dragon could be a good sign like the introductory passage in the LXX book of Esther that begins with the vision of two dragons, Mordecai and Haman contesting for power and we all know how the story unfolds in the biblical book? As Revelation 12 speaks of a great red dragon representing the devil, we should be careful not to extol dragon-like features or images too much over the course of this year.

Things are at Overdrive

When your mind is loaded, sleep will suffer. After three hours of the Song of Songs on Monday night where I spoke and lectured throughout with the exception of a few questions, I felt the burden of the Word of Lord on me and to have unloaded it to my students in a way acceptable to them, yet not compromising the truth is an art to behold, and only those filled with the Holy Spirit will know what I mean. I have stayed calm while the storm rages around me. When you are on your way out, you really know who your friends are. Twice over dinners for guests, the same few people came to talk with me while others saw me from afar. But I put up a steely front, always cheerful and kind to all I meet and am ready to help in a moment's notice. By your patience, you will inherit the promises of God.

Seeking the Lord's Will

I found myself at peace now. After several weeks of intensive struggles in prayers and pre-dawn rising to seek the will of God for my future. Last night when I was walking to a Mall for dinner, I had a sense of peace and joy. I felt joyful that I could say to the Lord that wherever You may lead I will go. How many people on this planet earth can say that? I am a totally free agent in submission to God's will. I could stay put in Sabah or I could go to the ends of the earth, including the place of my spiritual birth. I told a Kiwi friend that I am NZ bred and trained.

Year of the Dragon is Near

It's amazing how John the Baptist and Jesus Christ announced the soon-to-come kingdom of heaven. In about 12 days, the Year of the Dragon is here. When I celebrated it 12 years ago, I was well settled in Singapore, about to be granted Singapore Permanent Residence, but paradoxically upon obtaining the SPR, many things happened until today I found myself in a Seminary located on a hill in Sabah. But 12 years is a one cycle of years and Chinese have believed that if one lives to 5 cycles, it is a good achievement and anything beyond that, the 6th and 7th cycle is a bonus (72th and 84th year). My five cycles of years are to be completed forthwith. I can look back and be contented of what God has done for me, in and through my ministry. But I have a feeling that the greater or better is yet to come for the last wine is the best (John 2) if one does not fall asleep (spiritually) through drunkenness or worldly cares and desires.

Prophetic Voice: The Use of Malay in Seminary

I am close to a number of my colleagues, some new and some old friends whom I got to know 25 years ago. But one colleague who came and we sat together with another colleague over lunch said to me -  "prophetic voice". We were talking about the Seminary's direction since it was dialogue day with the English speaking churches. Both Basel and Methodist church leaders asked for my phone number and one said she would invite me to preach in her church. It is with a certain irony that I had never preached in an English congregation in the past 30 years despite being a local, a Sabahan. Mainly, because my ministry is solely focused on the Malay speaking churches but I am still amazed that none English churches have called on me since English is my first and primary language.

A Dreamer like Joseph

One fellow pastor texted me about the support or sponsor for theological study of church members wanting to be trained as pastors. I half-joked and said they should pray to God and asked help from God directly instead of men or church authorities. I know not all men have the same measure of faith like myself who had never asked for man's help but God moved in miraculous ways to provide me from BTheol to PhD. I am a dreamer. I dreamed about setting a scholarship fund that all church members could apply including pastors' kids. Pastors' kids need ministry and often they suffer much because of their parents' calling to serve God with little financial reward. It breaks my heart when a pastor told me that his Form 3 son asked him how he would manage when he reached Form 5 on his father's meagre salary of a few hundred ringgit a month.

Class About to Start

When I was the Acting Principal I was going to bring in some change to the academic calendar in that the teaching Semester should start earlier. Here, my first class has not started and my first class is on Thursday. If I had my way, students should return by 3rd Jan and orientation should be just 2 full days and lectures should commence by the 2nd week or at the latest middle of the 2nd week of January. Although I had a hectic schedule of ministry of preaching in 7 churches, four times outstation in the last two months of 2023, I had prepared everything in terms of syllabus and course description by the first few days of 2024.

Anti-Hero

We love to watch heroes or anti-heroes in movies and fantasies that it happens in real life. When I left the conference room after my resignation was confirmed I returned to my office and checked my email. Lo and behold an invitation to teach a MTheol module. When one door is closed, another opens. I am like the anti-hero. A kung fu (sifu) master with a black belt and 6 dans (6 published books to my name and when needed he appears and comes to the rescue. Jephthah was an outcast as he was illegitimate, but when Israelites needed him, they looked for him and he delivered God's people from destruction by their enemies. I often played the parts of an anti-hero. Twice during the pandemic I went up to the College to teach intensives when called upon while many hid in caves and cowered in fear. But when I am not needed, my name was struck off the roll. I was never invited to any graduation dinner or even graduation.

Ministry & Conference Schedule 2024

When one becomes a free agent, one is indeed free to go where one wishes, though I have been seeking the Lord for His will in that wherever I go, it is His will and in fulfilling His purposes and not just personal desires. In a week or at most two by the fourth week of January, I shall be deciding whether to attend a Conference in Europe or not since paper proposals close mid-January for one and end January for another. When one travels 13 or 14 hours on a flight, one needs to at least present one paper and I hope I can be a blessing to the nations despite speaking for 25 minutes and taking questions for 10 minutes. If I don't write up a paper proposal, I might just go to Europe for holidays and it could be fun as well without "wasting" four days at a Conference. I plan to spend at least four or five days in UK and a week in Europe including a couple of days in Rome. But my ministry schedule is taking shape besides my three courses which I shall be teaching for the first time, though I could say these subjects are within my specialty since I have written a commentary on the Song of Songs.

My Father is always Working

Jesus said this about His Father when he was accused of working on the Sabbath. In the past several days, I have been getting up real early and starting work just after 6am in the morning. My office is just about 40 meters from my apartment, so it is just walking a short distance across a road and clocking in. All my three courses this Semester are new subjects which I have never taught them before in my 11 years as a Bible School teacher. I look forward to teaching the Song of Songs and Advanced Greek which is really 2nd year Greek for those who have done 2 Semesters of Greek. I am reading critical commentaries as well using about three exegetical studies with exposition on the Greek text from John 14-17.

3 Days & 3 Nights

I went through many emotions and my mind and heart were like a roller coaster with many ups and downs in the past several days. It was not as urgent as Esther’s three days and three nights total fast, but I came close to experiencing many highs and lows more than almost 30 years in full-time ministry. Last Thursday came the news that my resignation had been accepted during the first faculty meeting of the year. It was followed strangely enough a letter of acknowledgment of my resignation in the late afternoon which I thought would have come first before reading about it in the minutes of the faculty meeting. I realised that administration is really a gift not to be taken for granted or lightly.

It is good to Work

There is a verse that says a man goes out in the morning to work in the field and returns in the evening. It is good to work as God has called us to work. Adam is tasked to tend the garden of Eden. Those called to work for God are most blessed. We work all the time as the Father is always working (John’s Gospel). There is no moment that I could say I don’t work. Even in rest and in sleep is in order that we could work well after rest. It is not a matter of being gainfully employed as the world. I am employed by God who has proven faithful. Even when human bosses play the fool or play foul, God is true to His servants and I have experienced this time and time again.

New Year & New Wine

It is usual that in the first few days of the New Year I will spend time waiting on the Lord, waiting for a word or promise from Him to inspire me to serve in the year ahead. This morning I felt the Lord spoke to me from the Gospel of Luke. The first passage that stood out was about the bridegroom being present (my son's wedding took place three days ago) and that the celebrants could only celebrate with the bridegroom eating and drinking, says Jesus. But new wine must be poured out into new wineskins.

New Year is Here

This has been a year that I had been waiting for a long time. It's my year. The Year of the Dragon. It is a year that I could withdraw my little savings on my government's retirement fund (Employee Retirement Fund). As I had only worked intermittently (in the past five years, I have only worked half the time and the rest of the time in writing books), there is little left but as Scripture says, "better little with righteousness than becoming rich through unlawful and corrupt means". It is also a year I can move into "retirement", as Malaysia's retirement age is 60, though as for me serving the Lord is a full-time job until one's last breath. It is a year that I may have to move to a different city or town. There is much uncertainty in the New Year just as in the previous year when I had nothing on the plate, waiting for my next appointment which never came until this current position opened in the second half of 2023. But God is good. He is good all the time.