Yesterday I experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. When there is a high a low will soon follow. Perhaps this is the pattern of human experience, even spiritual experience. Yesterday during worship I experienced one of the sweetest highs in my life. As the song was sung, Tuhan pasti Sanggup (God is able) I was caught up in estascy of the Lord's embrace. I had just read Jeremiah 13:11 about God's people clinging to the Lord as a linen sash clings to a man's body. I saw exactly that in a vision of the Lord. Where the Spirit is, there is freedom. I felt such a sense of liberation, not bound by anything temporal or worldly concerns but only wanting to do God's will. I remember how I worshipped the Lord as a 17-year old, my first love in Christ in the city of Christchurch and yesterday I worshipped the Lord in abandonment like before-times. O Lord there is no desire on earth besides Thee; in Your presence is fulness of joy and at Your right hand pleasures forevermore.
I have already read several chapters of the Bible, portions of two commentaries and many a psalm since 3.30 am in the morning. So for about 5 hours before service time, I spent sweet moments with the Lord on my own, singing to the Lord with my guitar softly for fear that I might disturb my neighbours. Then I heard the next door's baby cried and I realized that as a child of God even as Jesus said unless you become likem little child you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven. Lord my soul is still in You and only in You I find my tranquillity.
I still get up at this crazy hour, like during the peak of my activity at College in recent past. The Lord wants me for himself and he has taken me out of the way, with no human interaction or no active ministry, that is no preaching. I was greatly tempted yesterday to step up to the pulpit and preach seeing one friend stumbled on one or two occasions. How important it is for the church of Jesus Christ to have real preachers, preachers called and anointed by God to bring His word to his people. Then I realized that at this season of my life I am like a hidden arrow. The only interaction I have now is a few close friends keeping contact through whatsapps. Even then it was due to persuasion of a few close friends.
But I also experienced a great low. Elijah's triumph on Mount Carmel is followed by Jezebel's threat for his life. The Elijahs of today have to contend with the Jezebels. It is the last days for a man's enemies are the people of his own household (Micah 7:5-6).
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