60 years and older

Nothing lasts forever. I was happily in my 50s and now my happy 50s have passed and I am into my 60s. Yesterday during the birthday lunch I joked with my friends that 60 is the new 40. Wishful thinking. Forty years old I was just driving up mountains and valleys and sleeping on rough surfaces and using toilets outside the church house. Now I try to book the nearest homestay when I get invited to preach in the villages. There is this Chinese proverb or axiom: "From 40-60 conquer the world under heaven". It refers to active soldiers on battle fields and by 60, soldiers must retire from frontline service and only a handful are retained as military advisors past 60. In Malaysia 60 is a magical age.

“Teach us to number our days”

I spent the last day of my 59 years of life on this earth with a visit to my mother. I would love to take her out for lunch tomorrow but she is increasingly weak and with my weak knees I can’t carry her or move her into her wheelchair. My younger brothers are doing a lot better than their eldest brother in the family. I received a book which I ordered 10 days ago without expecting it to reach me so soon from UK.

Wishes for the next 10 years

I told the church two Sundays ago that I was planning and seeking God's will for me for the next decade until I turn 70. There is one wish in my heart to visit all the 140 SIB churches that I had gone to preach the Word of God. I had visited few of these churches twice or thrice last year when I preached in SIB Gansurai in Kota Belud in front of 500 youths. The first time I preached there was in 1995, my first year in ministry (I started on 1st Dec 1994) based near the Melangkap church about 30 minutes from the College. 99% of the youths were not even born when I preached in 1995 but they listened to God's Word in 2023. One wish is to return to preach in SIB Alutok, five hours' drive from KK, beyond Tenom close to the Kalimantan border.

"You have fought against God and men and you have prevailed" (Genesis 32:28)

In the last couple of months, I have been writing the Malay version ("Anak Panah") of "Departure Points: My Life and Ministry among the indigenous peoples of Borneo" with the sub-title "Kisah Pelayanan Seorang Anak Negeri Sabah". But this morning I changed the sub-title to "Perjuangan" instead of "pelayanan". As I preached two Sundays ago about how God spoke to me from the Jacob narrative (Gen 31-32), this morning I felt strongly in my spirit that the Lord spoke again from the Jacob's story of how his name was changed to Israel. The angel of the Lord said to Jacob "Your name shall no longer be Jacob and you shall be called Israel for you have fought with God and with men and you have prevailed" (Gen 32:28). I realised at that moment all my life, my Christian life for the past 42 years has been a struggle - a fight for survival, for righteousness, meekness and justice (Psalm 45:4). I have to fight to maintain my integrity when left right and centre I see many compromising with God and with the truth for worldly favours and security.

July, the month of Leo

Yesterday it was full moon for the month of July although I did not witness it, and today marks the beginning of the month of Leo. In a few days, by God's grace I would pass a significant milestone. I looked back to last year and I attended a special memoriam hearing in the High Court at Kota Kinabalu. I was shaken to know that more than 30 lawyers passed away in the past 4 years (late 2019 to August 2023). It was unbelievable and a few must have died due to Covid-19 infection. My two former bosses also passed away. One of them made a mark in legal history as he prevented a power grab in 1986 when PBS won a majority but the loser was almost sworn in if not for the insistence of my former boss as the State Attorney General that the winner of the majority seats must be appointed as Chief Minister. If it was just this one act, he would be remembered for good. I was also surprised that the lawyer who took over my law firm also passed away. He was about the same age as me, though he was admitted a couple of years later.

Growing Churches

The attendance in churches is falling everywhere. Some leaders are not concerned and they even claimed that they were growing their online congregation. Shoddy theology leads to shoddy practice. There is no substitute to in person attendance when one is a member of a body, and as members we serve one another with our gifts in love when we meet together. So there is this great challenge in growing churches. I had a measure of success in my first two churches. From 200 to 450 on average is not bad in 5 years. In Ranau the congregation grew from 250 to 350 within 12 months.

Gift of Tears

The only theologian I could relate to in this special gift is Simeon the Theologian in the early 11th century AD who wrote about the gift of tears. I shed much tears on Sunday in the middle of the worship song “I belong to You” “Sebab Aku ini milikMu” and I wept before the Lord. Humanly it is not a pleasant sight with two elders standing close to me, one on the left and one on the right. The elder on the left must have shook my hands three times as he thanked me three times for the sermon. There were three tambourine dancers and two were just a few feet away from me and I do not know if they were affected by my tears.

Two Milestones This Year

I was born in the year of the Dragon and this is my year in the month of Leo. With a dragon and a lion thrown into the mix, you do not get any better omens. But in Christ, everything is made anew, and those who believe are new creation. Stars and omens no longer rule the lives of men, but the Star of Jaco, the Messiah Jesus rules over the people who bow their knees in acknowledgment of His kingship. I preached a tough message on Sunday on doing the will of the Father in heaven because many shall say to Jesus on that day, "Lord, Lord" but they will not enter the kingdom of heaven because they are doing their own things, caring for themselves first and foremost, their own interests and not the interests of Jesus Christ and disregarding God's will in their lives.

Preaching Again this Sunday

Last Sunday was not expected but two Sundays ago, the pastor asked me to take his place to preach last Sunday which I duly obliged. Again, many church members came up to thank me despite being a really tough sermon on giving and that our righteousness should exceed that of the Pharisees' and giving our all to the Lord who has first loved us by sending His Son Jesus Christ to be the expiation of our sins. This Sunday I shall be preaching again and this is scheduled as I was invited about 2 months ago, though I did not know whether it was really confirmed until yesterday when the chairman of the church council called for a coffee fellowship.

I preached on Sunday

Yesterday I preached the Sunday in one of the biggest churches  in Kota Kinabalu, bahasa section. It was a bit hard going at the start as worship was up to the usual standard. I hope it is not that the young men watched Euro until 5 am in the morning. The topic given was not easy about giving money. It is difficult in the best of circumstances and in not so good economic times it is doubly hard to preach the message.

Preaching Sunday

This invitation was unexpected. I thought I might start my preaching ministry next Sunday as an itinerant and full-time author. But I shall be preaching tomorrow, God wiling. The pastor asked me to replace him as he wanted to take a break from the busyness of his ministry. Being a full-time pastor is a burdensome job. People may only see you on Sunday but there are many meetings in between, elders' meeting, deacons' meeting, cell groups, prayer meeting on Friday and visitation to families that require prayers and counselling. The pastor's inner strength is vital for God sees our hearts, being loyal to Him and serving His people tirelessly. My Church's seminary's 2nd Semester starts tomorrow which means I shall not be part of the teaching team there and mostly likely if an appointment comes, it will be pastoring a church.

God fills all in all

I have been back home for a whole week now. I handed the keys to my College's apartment last Friday and drove out of STS at 11.25am. I left three days earlier before my contract ended. After 2 weeks of moving house, my whole body was sore from neck to feet and I rested for three days. I went to worship on Sunday and the pastor's wife and the pastor himself invited me to sit in front. I have known the pastor for almost 3 decades and it was good to chat with him a bit before and after service.