A Throw of the Dice

My life is like a big gamble. Like I put all my money on the table and say, "call". But I am not in a poker game. Nor in the game of thrones. But I am serving in the kingdom of heaven, unseen by men, seen by a few spiritual men and women. Today I got an offer to pastor a church just below 50% of my former salary as a lecturer. But I actually feel more excited about this offer than my former job when it came about. They even set for the date for welcoming of the pastor should I accept the offer. Maybe in a week or two, latest by mid-October I think my future would be sorted out. Or else I will stick to writing books.

David and his 400 men

I have no doubt I will finally make it. The greater the obstacles the greater my determination to see it through. It is a fight between good and evil. And light shall prevail over darkness. Darkness may reign for a while but the light of dawn will surely break through. Everywhere I have my 400 men. Perhaps that’s why they fear and shake in their boots or else they would have more sense not to do what they are doing.

The Call to Full-Time Ministry

I sat at a table surrounded by three of the top leaders who cast their die on my future. I did not plan to sit with them, but the youth leader brought me into a room for invited guests and VVIP and I was seated at the table with the guest preacher for our annual Youth Conference attended by 3,200 paid participants and at night the numbers swelled into 5,000 people filling the biggest hall at the Sabah International Convention Centre. In fact, I wanted to sit at the back and several times as I was walking about the Hall I asked those seated whether the empty seats were available. The participants looked really young and I told my wife that soon they will look not like my children but my grand children.

60 Club

More than 5 years ago just a few weeks before I turned 55 years ago I wrote blogpost titled “55 Club”. What have I done in the past 5 years? I was waiting for my next appointment 5 years ago just as I am now, though I might not receive one anytime soon. Five years ago I was furiously completing two books “Departure Points” started in 2014 but completed and published at the end of 2019. I am also writing two books at present, a Malay version of Departure Points (up to date version) and second volume of a commentary on John’s Gospel 13-21. The latter is going well with three chapters done and six more to go which means I am already one third into my commentary.

I've been published since 2005

Thomas Sowell when asked the year he started writing, he replied, "I've been published since 1960" which was his 30th birthday and since then he had published about 45 books. I've been published since 2005 has quite a ring to it and I almost thought I was going to be one book wonder until 2019 when I started writing seriously and now have published 5 more books, three in English and three in Malay. But that's minuscule compared to what Dr Sowell had done and he was a research fellow at Hoover Institution, Stanford University where all he does is research and write with no office hours and no teaching obligations.

Spoken too Soon

Sometimes the Lord tests us whether we love Him and whether we will obey Him. In less than 48 hours since my last blogpost which I thought I might not move to another place again, I was struck yesterday that I might have to move again all too soon. This time it will be a big move, if it happens. If it does not, I resign to the fact that I shall dwell where I am until the end of days, though one never can plan too much into the future. When my wife asks me and told me that I would spend a lot of money again if I make this big move, I told her, "I am dead to the world" quoting Paul. A man who has no attachments including his own life is a powerful man.

Done with Moving?

I have come to a stage of my life that I think I will stay put unless God tells me otherwise. I have tried to follow the Lord wherever He had gone and led me to various places and ministry. In all, I have made 17 or 18 major moves and if one adds the one or two week in transit or flat searching, it would be at least 27 or 28 times in total, not counting those stopovers less than a few days in hotels, airports and motels. Even in Ranau I moved 5 times, from KK to Ranau (31st Dec 2014), from Ranau to Namaus (1st April 2016), from Namaus to KK (28th June 2016), from KK to Namaus (16th August 2016) and from Namaus back to KK for the last time on 31st January 2019 after completing an intensive course as I resigned from my ministry in the Namaus' Bible College.

A New Lease of Life

I enjoy the communion of the saints. It was life to me to be together with the saints of the most high God. Yesterday I had breakfast fellowship with a couple of pastors and one elder before Sunday service. Then an elder invited me for lunch after helping me to sell about 10 books and I realized I met his needs, his spiritual needs as he asked me tons of questions over an hour of lunch fellowship. Basically how to run the church, inter personal relationships with the pastor, among elders and church members. Also a number of doctrinal issues that came up. I arrived in church at 7.30am before the 9am start and the pastor and his wife just opened the church doors.