In Search of Fruitfulness

In search of fruitfulness seems to be my key interest in the past few months. I have been asking myself this question as of late, am I bearing fruits and much fruits in my current place of ministry. It is not a matter of impatience and my close friends sometimes are amazed that I am still serving with my Church since in the past decade alone, I had waited more than 3.5 years out of ministry for different appointments. While waiting, I am out of pockets, with no pay. With the little savings I had had (working in Singapore more than 15 years ago), there is as much as I can bear with, bear I do with patience and endurance. But there are times I ask myself, "am I bearing much fruits?"

Am I content with preaching week in and week out, and travel to attend to the occasional preaching in a village which I had done for more than 30 years? With the current set up, there is no way I will be supporting a double service on a Sunday. Sometimes we struggle to find enough musicians for just one Sunday service. Two Saturdays ago for the first time as pastor I had to ask in our leaders' group to those responsible if the musicians were already appointed for the weekly service. Usually everything is done mid-week or latest by Friday, so I have at least 48 hours to pray for each and everyone appointed for service. Just imagine two services running every Sunday. Not only the burden of preaching will increase, but the responsibility that we should give the best to those who come every Sunday. 

Why was it a success in my Ranau's pastorate 10 years ago? People fail to understand leadership matters and it matters a great deal. Now I do not even know when the next meeting will be called or whether I shall be called upon to chair the meeting? What is the use of chairing the meeting, if the chair can't follow up with decisions made during the meeting? It may come to head in the next few weeks or by the latest the coming leaders' retreat early December. Whether they are able to listen or not, agree or disagree, I may have to be frank with them and after that there is no turning back, if there is still no change for the better, I will look elsewhere in search of fruitfulness.