Year of the Horse

I faced Chinese New Year that just passed yesterday, being Chap Goh Mei (15th day of the Lunar New Year) with considerable trepidation as my beloved mother just passed away two months earlier. I wanted to celebrate with my two younger brothers but they had their own programmes. Couple with the fact that I was leaving the church for good in the first week of Lunar New Year, I took the opportunity to give out ang pows (red packets) to the worship team members about 14 of them altogether on Sunday 22nd Feb 2026 (all twos, 2202) with each getting also a copy of Departure Points.

Making Good Progress

When I started about a month ago, I prayed to the Lord that I would finish the second volume of the commentary on John’s Gospel in 52 days, the time Nehemiah took to finish building the walls of Jerusalem. I have probably written for 21 days now with 31 days to go. If I write every day with the Lord’s help I might finish by Resurrection Sunday which would be amazing, God answering my prayers. In 21 days I had written 22,000 words, about 1,000 words a day which does not seem a lot.

Betrayal & Departure

Since early February, 2nd month into my notice of resignation given early January, I started writing again my commentary on John’s Gospel 13-21. For about 6 weeks before I became the church pastor, from early September 2024, I commented on John 13 to 16 with just a few verses on ch. 16 left when I stopped writing mid-October 2024 after I had signed up to be pastor starting officially on 1st Dec 2024. In fact, I worked 6 weeks for the church even before official starting date as I had to prepare for two seminars early in the year 2025, first a leaders’ retreat and then a seminar on our church’s constitution as we were having our election year, first the local church, then the District and finally, our HQ statewide.

Saddest Sunday

Today is supposed to be the start of my 16th month as pastor, but I found myself outside and without a church. It is my saddest Sunday, more so than when I was barred from entering church premises during the vaccination mandate. That lasted less than 6 months until 1st May 2022, but some leaders even after SOP was relaxed still insisted on vaccination as a requirement for leadership contest.

41,000 Words

I have surpassed 41,000 words for my commentary on John’s Gospel which is more than half the length of this book that I plan to write in the next two months. I am now into John 19 only three more chapters of commentary to go before a long appendix which I plan to write about the theology of John’s Gospel overall from ch.1 to ch.21.

Suffering from the Blues

I don’t know whether I will suffer the blues from my recent departure from my role as pastor. I told the congregation in my last address that I would miss the worship team. I spent almost every Saturday night with them in practice and rehearsal making sure everything was done right. Little by little I hope in the Lord that I had made an impact. Even last Sunday, I gave a rebuke to singers who sing for singing sake without loving the songs and singing unto the Lord. I told them I sang one song 100 times in the past 6 months (Kau menungguku) and many songs multiple times even before they sing it in church or when I learn a new song and if I liked it, I would worship the Lord weeks with it or even months.

Fire & Earthquake (Psalm 18)

Without prophetic interpretation, every thing that happened or happens just by chance or just the run of the mill event. For sure, many things happen naturally and there is no interpretation needed. But I do not believe the massive earthquake (7.1 Richter Scale, some say it is 6.8) happens per chance. One Emeritus Professor of Tectonics in Scotland asked the question: Why there? Why just about 100kms from where I live in Kota Kinabalu?

A Vision: Sabah Earthquake

I had several visions over two days. It came in twos. The first vision came during my last rehearsal with the worship team. I was worshipping the Lord, and suddenly I saw a vision of angels. I saw the vision of angels a few times already and I thought the vision was just above me at church. Then after a minute or two as I worshipped, I saw another vision. This time I saw angels with banners and the map of Sabah drawn in red (Sabah’s borders were in red and the angels hovered over the West Coast where Kota Kinabalu and Kota Belud were located.

17 Hours

It’s been quite a ride. It’s the Year of the Horse. At my age, some people might think I am riding into the sunset. But as I preached from the Jacob’s narrative last Sunday after Jacob had wrestled with God, the sun rose on him as he crossed the river Jabbok. Tomorrow I am crossing the river of Bundusan and returning to my home base. For me to have a home is already a miracle. 12 years into ministry, no money and no house and when I left for Singapore in 2008, I was penniless. I sold my one last car in order to support my son studying Form 6 in New Zealand.

24 Hours

There was a mini series by the name of 24 hours, one of my favourites series on TV. Now I am entering my final 24 hours as church pastor. I just received the order of service on tomorrow's Sunday service which will be my final act, preaching for one last time as the church pastor. There will be six people making speeches and a few special prayers. It will be good if we could finish by 11.30am, but if I preach one last long sermon I'd afraid that the finish time could be as late as 12 noon.

When God Opened Doors

My first foray into overseas ministry outside of the State of Sabah came in early February 2008. I had resigned from my pastorate in July 2007 with my HQ's blessings, and then informed my elders before telling the church council in August 2007. I officially handed it my resignation letter on 1st October giving 6 months' notice concluding on 31st March 2008. As I had almost two months of annual leave not taken, I would end my active ministry in church on the 2nd week of February 2008 when I preached my farewell sermon. But many things intervened before that.

Celebrating with my Family

This year is especially difficult for me. My beloved mother passed away suddenly just over two months ago. If she were still alive, I won't be writing this blog as we would be having our reunion dinner. But this year my brothers had made other plans. So I shall be celebrating with my true family, my church. But the irony in a few days' time, I shall be bidding them farewell.

Jacob in the Dark of Night

It's Valentine's Day and I am preparing hard for tomorrow's sermon. I am going to have 12 points, preaching from Genesis 32, a key chapter in the life of Jacob. First, Jacob went on his way. He departed from working for Laban. I am also departing, back to my humble abode, my inheritance. We must be on our way on a journey like Jacob was. We are followers of Jesus who follow the Lamb wherever He goes.

Peace was broken

Often times when God wants to call someone and use someone He isolates him and he becomes a solitary figure before he could truly hear from God and God’s equipping of His servants often takes the form of solitude. Not just John the Baptist who spent his adult years of 10 plus years in the wilderness before he came baptising. Moses spent 40 years in the wilderness before God called him to return to Egypt. Jacob spent 20 years in a foreign land before God called him to return to the land of his birth.

Freedom to Write

I have written 10,000 words of solid commentary on John 17 from verse 1 to verse 14, the middle of the chapter. This is accomplished in barely over a week since early February. I felt I had accomplished more in the past 8 days than 14 months of pastoring a church. What is crooked cannot be made straight. And Scripture cannot be broken.

The Lord Opens Doors

Since I was committed to leaving my current pastorate by next Sunday, I have seen the Lord opening doors for me. During my brief attendance at the AGM to witness the vote count last month, I received invitations to preach. Even for Christmas more than 10 months from now. When I received the text. a few days ago, I thought it was a mistake since Christmas passed less than 2 months ago but it seems planning ahead for this year's Christmas is gathering steam. I remember as soon as Good Friday was over during my first two pastorates, we made plans for Christmas to give ourselves about 9 months ahead of time for preparations.

Jacob in his mid-life (Genesis 32)

The wrestle between God and Jacob is a symbolic reference to every man’s mid-life crisis. By the 40s, he has to decide what to do in his life, or else the boat has sailed past him, and there is nothing much one can do if when one reaches the 40s one is still aimless, not knowing one’s purpose in life. Jacob spent 20 years of his adult life, serving for his two wives and his meagre wages and if the Lord had not blessed him, Laban would have left him impoverished. But life is uncertain to the extent that one makes it and the other does not.

Serving Everyone

A pastor's job is a great job if done well for God's glory. Today is my day of rest and I could not write as my mind was filled with events of yesterday. A pastor with a family serves his family first. When my son was with me 20 years ago, every Sunday morning we left our house at 7.40am to get to church by 7.50am for a 8am start. We were never late and our son as a young teenager was obedient and he never gave his father any troubles. Yesterday as I was not preaching and that I had already resigned, I waited for my wife and we reached the church just 5 minutes before the 9am start.

God who gives Growth

When the church is not growing there is something wrong. Early October I told my elder that things were not doing well, if the current leadership structure was in place. I was coming to a year of ministry, and I sensed many things were going backward. Our 10th anniversary supposedly a highlight of the church's calendar was organised haphazardly, practically in the last week before I knew what was going on. I asked twice for the e-poster to be made and sent to me at least one month before the anniversary but there was no action.

It is Going Well

I was afraid that it might not go well or it will take days and weeks to settle into writing or continuing with my commentary on John's Gospel. But happily I am at almost full speed with five pages written in the past one and a half days and there will be more today and tomorrow. So much so I prayed just now that the miracle of Nehemiah would also happen to me, to finish my book in 52 days like Nehemiah and the Judeans who built the wall of Jerusalem in less than 2 months. That would be a miracle.

Writing Again

I breathed a sigh of relief when I started writing again after more than 14 months of inaction. This pastoral role has taken a lot of my energy and now I am relieved of it all and began to write. I managed to comment on John 17:2-4 in its bare bones. What I do is first exegesis, explaining the text in its context and then there will be some application on the more important verses or passages. There is hardly a more important verse in the whole Gospel than one found in John 17:3, defining what eternal life is.

Communication & Fellowship

Those who serve, serve in Christian fellowship bound by love for God and for one another. This means servants of God ought to be open and sincere towards one another without hypocrisy and duplicity. If I think of my own denomination, we have over 400 full-time pastors and if we are united, how powerful that would be. But it depends on leadership to create and set an example of love and unity. In fact, I make it a point to always open to my leaders, and to serve in Christian fellowship.

Abraham walked with God

Abraham was the first. Abraham was the only one. Abraham was the first to be called by God to go to a place which destination he knew not. It is almost like buying a ticket and boarding a plane to nowhere. At least now we know our destination. It was a time of travel by foot, donkeys and camels. Yet Abraham left Ur of the Chaldean and walked thousand of kilometres to Haran, and then to Canaan as God called him. Whenever God called, Abraham obeyed. That’s the essence of faith.

There is no Respite

I think I have to work till the last day, even on my official holidays till the end of March. I have worked on most public holidays last year without any extra pay or reward, but God is my reward. Now I am asked to join the church’s group to visit our Bible College at the end of the month, a week after I am supposed to cease work officially. Then, the church in Tuaran that we visited last July will be making a return visit to our church, and again I was asked to be present on the 3rd week of March well into my official annual leave.

Ones & Twos

There are ones and twos. Three weeks ago on 11th Jan 26 (110126), I preached my sermon having handed my letter of resignation and countdown began. Yesterday I preached a sermon and today (020226) it is now less than three weeks before I am free from all men in order to serve everyone. It's a paradox that I preached about yesterday from 1 Cor 9. The whole 27 verses in 49 minutes. I divided my sermon into 4 sections.

The Support of God's Servants

Tomorrow, God willing, I shall be preaching through the whole chapter of 1 Corinthians 9 on Paul's teaching on the financial support of God's servants. It's part of the expository series on 1 Corinthians which unfortunately I won't be able to finish as I shall be completing my tenure as pastor on the 22nd Feb 2026. I hope to reach 1 Corinthians 11 and preach it as my farewell sermon on the hierarchy of the Godhead and also in church based on the first part of 1 Cor 11 & 12 as well as Ephesians 4's five fold ministry.

Love of Literature

If one asks me a solid preparation for law studies or for that matter theological study, it will be literature in the humanities in particular. In fact, my law studies were preparation for my study of theology six years on after giving up law practise.

Further Back, 1986

Another 10 years further back will bring me into my 20s, as 1986 was my final year at Law School and then working as a chambering student or legal assistant in a law firm in 1987 before being admitted to the Bar at the High Court of New Zealand in Christchurch. All four decades long until today in 2026. All four decades long of learning and training and equipping in order to be ready to serve the king of kings and the Lord of Lords, our Lord Jesus Christ. Speaking of law studies, my friend commented just a few weeks ago that I was the only church leader in his memory to encourage young people to enter law, to become lawyers.

What were you doing 10 years ago?

One thing I do is to plan 10 years ahead of time. What will I be doing in 10 years' time? What would I like to have achieved in a decade's time? Simply put, visit Europe and Jerusalem and write a couple more books. But what were you doing 10 years ago? 10 years ago, I suddenly received a call to lead our Bible College for one Semester (Jan-June 2016). It was the most exciting times of my life, filled with adventures at College and outside of College.

Vision fulfilled & unfulfilled

I do not want to be a hypocrite. In fact, when I say or said something in the Lord, it will come to pass. My earliest pronouncement last January 2025 when I held the first leaders’ retreat to set the vision for 2025 and one of the first was to visit a nearby church, to establish sisterly or brotherly relationship with a fellow SIB church and the very next week I met a church leader at McD (he told me he hardly ever dined at a McD) and the church leader invited me to bring a team from my church to visit them.

Counting Down, 26

The countdown has begun. It's 26 days before I retire from my current position. No idea where I am going next. Many of my friends think I might be going back to College next year, but it is far from certain. I do not fancy living outside the city in my 60s. I thought when I turned 55 I had done my duty as far as living in the interior is concerned.

The Speech’s Aftermath

As the church hall was packed with worshippers, 138 adults inside with a few outside and downstairs as all seats were taken, I preached a sermon on 1 Corinthians 8 and gave my speech on the reason why I was leaving the church as pastor. Three weeks ago I told my six leaders who were present at the prayer meeting that I could no longer serve as pastor but I could come as a visitor or worshipper.

Parable of an Eagle

I gave a 14 minute farewell speech after a 30 min sermon. Everything went according to plan. At the end of speech I gave a parable of an eagle. I told the church the Lord showed to me an eagle with one of its wings bound - this image came to me often in my prayers and every time I thought of my ministry in church and for the future. My speech was composed and calm.

New Tech 4 New Year

I am about set. This is my first blogspot using my new MacBook computer. I need to use it for two or three weeks to get familiarise with it, so I can get started writing my commentary on it by middle of February. It is already the final week of the first month. I need to get going and get working on my project. I dwell not on the past. The past is the past. At the end it is the Lord who judges as all of us will stand before the judgement seat of Christ at the last day.

Saying farewell

I attended my last council meeting last night. It was the first meeting in four months since September 2025. Perhaps that’s why I am leaving. I like to follow rules. I am intent in following the church’s constitution that says meetings must be held at least once in two months. You can’t get a united team if we meet so irregularly. As chairman in my first two churches, I chaired meetings every month, elders’ meetings followed by the church council meetings without fail for 5 years. Likewise, I did the same in Ranau, once a month meeting with the elders and then, the church council meetings without fail with all the deacons and deaconesses.

Pen of a Ready Scribe

In ancient times, it was the pen, a stylus for writing that was the instrument for writing for over a millennium. Then new ways or instruments are invented with pen and paper, type writers, and the like in the 20th century and in the past 25 years, it is the computer or the laptop that is the most popular form of tech for writing. Putting pen on paper is now typing on a keyboard on a desktop or a notebook.

Five Sundays

There are five more Sundays to go with four sermons and one Sunday’s break on 8th Feb. Soon I will be counting down days and not weeks. Only one church member called and asked me why I resigned. Cut to the chase, I felt vindicated with the events of last weekend. I am neither team A or team B, but I am ready to serve. I always give my best wherever I am. 

Meeting Delegates & Friends

I thank the Lord that I did not attend the first two days of the AGM. There was simply too much at stake, although I was unaware of what was happening. I received several text messages and even had my phone put on silence. Someone called me two hours before the close of nomination. This time I was unmoved by any pleas or advice by friends or delegates. I was not going to stand for any post. Even if I stood, my nomination might not be accepted. I did not know that fierce battles were being fought in the hall and outside the hall on Thursday night and whole day Friday until the early hours of Saturday when voting started at 8.30am.

New Leadership Elected & installed

Not many people expected the change of leadership during yesterday's election at our 18th AGM. We have a new President. I was standing outside as I did not want to pay the fees charged for observers. I was talking to friends and some delegates who came out after the vote count and suddenly someone whispered in my ears: "We have a new President!"

Money Matters

Every time I depart from one place to another, one of my first tasks is to reset every thing and look at my finances. I know it will be a long wait before gainful employment (if ever). My one year EPF (Singapore's CPF) while I served at a local Seminary was used up while I waited for 5 months to enter this current pastorate which I am about to leave in the next month. This is no EPF paid at my current place and I was told to deduct from my salary and save up myself. In fact, if not for itinerant ministry (6 times in 2025 outside of KK and three times within KK) and books sold, I would not have enough to make ends meet, let alone save up in my EPF account.

David in the land of the Philistines

David moved about for more than 10 years and even as the King of Judah he struggled for 7 and a half years more before the whole of Israel acknowledged his kingship. The anointing of David as king came about 22 years earlier as a 16 year old, a shepherd boy who would slay Goliath, become King Saul’s courtier and musician, a commander in Saul’s army, and then cast out to wander about in the wilderness, persecuted by Saul, and many of Israel’s enemies. On occasions, Israel’s enemies gave shelter to David for there is one Scripture that says “David spent in the land of Philistines for one year and four months.”

God’s Economy

38 years ago when my friend and I were admitted to the Bar and I asked him how much one needed to retire at 60 year old. We were both young then. He was 25 and I just turned 24. He said, “1 million ringgit”. In my heart, knowing I would enter full time ministry in Sabah, I said to myself, “if I could save RM100,000.00 by the time when I turn 60, I should be content”. A year ago I asked my friend the same question. He indicated that even RM2 million is not enough in current circumstances. 

Open Up Fallowed Land, Sow not among Thorns

This is basically the verse the Lord gave at the end of the year which led to me moving on from my current pastorate and doing what I love best. Just yesterday I thought to myself that if I started now, it might take 10 years before I complete my three or four book projects in mind. So I better get started. There will be no immediate start as my last Sunday is on 22nd Feb (220226) and then I will take a week’s break before launching my writing once more, by God’s grace.

A Burden Lifted

After the initial feelings of sadness of leaving the flock that I shepherded for 14 months, that sadness has turned into relief. For the first time, I did not feel I must attend the rehearsal tonight or worried about the spelling of the lyrics or the loudness of the music. In fact, twice I asked for the standing mike to be fixed but it fell on deaf ears, but I went ahead singing solo without the need of the mike - "I ask You for Jerusalem" during the Christmas Day service with about 55 adults present.

“Your Hands are Tied”

Sometimes it is not easy to discern God’s voice and His will, especially in leaving one’s place of ministry and launching into the unknown as far as my future is concerned. In fact, last April nine months ago I almost resigned abruptly and I had good reasons in doing so but I thought I just hanged on for a while longer for the ewes of the lambs, the little ones who just happened to be about 40 plus children who turned up for Sunday school in early April 2025.

A Meaningful Life (John 8:12)

I am looking forward to preaching this Sunday. Tonight I am leading special prayers, our church's turn once a year to pray in our HQ's prayer hall. Last Sunday I preached from the whole chapter of Proverbs 8. This Sunday it will be the whole chapter of John 8. By month's end, I will return to my 1 Corinthians series by preaching the whole chapter 1 Cor 8, then 1 Cor 9. Everyone wants to lead a life of meaning and purpose. 

Weighing Up My Options

In the past couple of months, I had been weighing up my options. If I leave my pastorate I will return to full time writing. I have at least two or three writing projects put on the back burner for quite some time now. I would love to write a book on Ecclesiastes, already two years playing in my mind. I could comfort myself by saying there are at least 20 other pastors who can do my current job just as well or even better, but I can’t name 2 persons who can write a theological book in Malay, at least not by a PhD holder.

Spiritual Man as Mad (Hosea 9:7)

I think it is in the prophet Hosea that it is said that a spiritual man is considered mad. Prophets as they come are seen as madmen. If one claims to be filled with the Spirit, to one who is natural or soulish, it seems sofoolish to him or her to behold such a spiritual man. Yesterday we had only half of the Christmas crowd, below 80 adults for the first Sunday of 2026. But I preached a solid message, a spiritual message from Proverbs on wisdom. I shared how God could increase our finances and treasuries. My congregation must hear that as many are bound by cycle of poverty, as if there is no release. I asked them to look to the Lord, for He promises the wise that He will fill their treasuries.

New Year 2026

Two hours before New Year 2026 ushered in, I preached an hour long sermon with three parts - the first 20 minutes giving an overview of the first quarter of the 21st century (2001-2025) from Windows XP in 2001 to DeepSeek in 2025. Then I spent another 20 minutes on Psalm 103:1-5 and not forgetting God's benefits and be thankful always. The final part was in using our talents and I emphasised that Christ gave us gifts and talents according to our ability, which means the greater ability or capability we have, the greater gifts and responsibilities that the Lord would grant to us.