I did not expect to preach a fourth sermon in the first two weeks of June but last Tuesday we had an opening service for the 2nd Semester and I was asked to preach last minute. Despite having just a few hours preparation I managed to preach from Song of Solomon 1:6-7, first about looking after our vineyards and secondly about following the lead or tempo of the shepherd in v. 7. Often time, we wonder where our Lord, the good Shepherd is feeding his sheep, where He wants us to be and the lack of His presence in our lives causes a few flutters here and there. As the woman exclaims in SS 1:7 why should I be wandering with the flocks of His companions? We can't trust in men or the Lord's associate shepherds as we desire our beloved, the one and only shepherd.
There are times we wander aimlessly not knowing we are in fact following the Lord's leading, let alone be in step with his tempo..mengikut rentak Sang Gembala. As I climb Mount Kinabalu and down each time I drive back to Namaus I wonder whether all my exertions are worth it. In terms of age, I am truly in the descent, few years past 50 and middle age has truly set in. Why all the trouble running to and fro and spending all my energy on a small group of students? Is it not better to pastor a church of 200 or 300 people and see the likelihood of growth? I left my Seminary position in Singapore thinking that I am returning to pastorate, but after a short stint I find myself back into teaching. Is this the Lord's leading or man's imposition? Like the lost virgin in the Song of Songs, I can't figure out where my beloved is pastoring his flock and makes them rest at noon? If I knew I would run to join my beloved and not wander about with the flocks of his companions.