I wish I could just focus on marking papers in the final week of the semester before graduation next Saturday. But instead, I have one meeting to attend next Monday on housing for students, 2 exams to invigilate (Greek 2 followed by NT 2) and a closing communion service on Friday. I have begun to grade my NT 2 papers and so far the students had performed better than expected. Further, I am settling on the course reader for Romans next Semester. I will list at most 7 books. I regretted listing too many for John's Gospel which probably overwhelmed some of the students. At the end, I required them to read a total of 12 articles within 13 weeks, a little bit too much considering that most students are doing 4 other courses.
I have been waiting on the Lord for the next course of action for almost a year now. It's unsettling that the Lord does not seem to be speaking clearly. It's a matter of trusting the Lord even in the midst of doubt, wavering and the occasional fear of the unknown. Stepping out in faith is never easy. I have done it 3 or 4 times previously and as I grow older it becomes even more difficult to move from one place to another. Even the thought of moving all my books again puts shivers down my spine. How difficult it is for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God; it is easier for a camel to enter through a needle than a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. One thing I fear most is that careerism sets in, a complacency that settles for the status quo, not moving forward and not changing for the better. It's not godly contentment, but worldly security, hanging on to familiar things that can be seen, yet things that are unseen and eternal are becoming unreachable and grow dimmer by the day.