Weighing Up My Options

In the past couple of months, I had been weighing up my options. If I leave my pastorate I will return to full time writing. I have at least two or three writing projects put on the back burner for quite some time now. I would love to write a book on Ecclesiastes, already two years playing in my mind. I could comfort myself by saying there are at least 20 other pastors who can do my current job just as well or even better, but I can’t name 2 persons who can write a theological book in Malay, at least not by a PhD holder.

Even in English I can also count the number of Malaysian authors with the fingers of one hand. Obviously, writing books full time is a step of faith because I won’t be earning an income and have to dig into my savings. Further, I need capital outlay to print 500 or 1,000 copies of my book. So it is not a decision without risks. But I am inclined to take the plunge once more. 

If I stay where I am now, I don’t expect change by the end of the year with the current set up and my own frustrations will only grow when things just go on aimlessly without purpose and impact. 

But if I write, I may see my 8th book published by the end of the year, or latest by early next year. If I think about my seven published books, I realise how proud I was and still am whenever one person chooses to buy any of my books. More so, if positive feedback is given. 

But I testified in my Sunday sermon that my heart’s desire is only to be found in the centre of God’s will and I know for sure whatever I decide to do in the next few weeks that will impact my life for the rest of 2026 will be in the centre of His will for He so grants our hearts’ desires when we take delight in Him (Psalm 37).