To what End?

When Jesus stood before Pilate, and challenged to say whether he was a king, Jesus' response was telling: For this or to this end, I was born, which means he was born to be king and to witness to the truth (John 18). As I am in my early 60s now, perhaps it is not too late to reflect, though I once said if one was in his or her 40s and know not what to do, then it is surely time to gather oneself and make oneself useful so that one's life could be meaningful. It is never too late to reflect. Even now in the past three months, I began to reflect - to what end was I born? What are my primary gifts?

In my latest book, "Anak Panah" I listed my 5 main gifts, and by the mid 40s, I already have had a track record in doing what I was supposed to do, by God's will. Because as He called, He equipped. He gives us graces or gifts in our lives. It behoves us to use those gifts to the maximum like the traders who were given five and two talents respectively, went about trading and gaining double than what was given to them at first. 

So now I could narrow down from five to three main gifts, or even perhaps only two. I know preaching and teaching are quite different. But in the last three months I did just that. I preached in the city (March) and in the village (April) and I taught a two-day seminar in a nearby district to 86 leaders from seven local churches. Then, yesterday I completed my book and sent it to my printers, praying that they could print it for me as soon as possible. 

So my three main gifts are first, preaching, second, teaching and third, writing. Certainly, even in my last one, it is not just books, but online content like blogging or Threads, a short form medium that I find quite amusing and there are already 300 plus followers (in one year, middle of 2025) to my Insta's 400 plus followers (9 years since 2017). But blogging has taken off, it is off the charts in terms of readership and the number of people visiting and reading my blogpost. Truly it has gone global, to Latin America, Middle East and Africa as well besides the usual readers from the States, Europe, UK and a few South East Asian countries. 

So these are my main three gifts. I do not know how long I could serve the Lord using the talents He has given me. Yesterday I shared a few things with my good friend and lunch partner. I told him that how I survived in the past 30-plus years. If I had taken safety in financial security or an easy life, 95% of what I had done could never have been done. Many a times, it was a leap of faith when I believed and trusted the Lord to lead me despite outward circumstances. 

If I had stayed on in Singapore in 2014, for instance, even in 2016 already 2 years back in Sabah, a couple of Singaporean churches were still pursuing me to become their pastors with at least 20% or more payrise from my TTC's pay which was already very good. If I worked just a few more years in Singapore, maybe I could relax and goyang kaki God did not want that, He wanted me to trust in Him, do exploits in His name for those who know their God will do exploits (Daniel). 

I travelled extensively in a few years when I was in Ranau (2015-2018) and over two Christmas seasons (Nov-Dec 2015 and Nov-Dec 2016) I preached more than 20 times each year in probably 10 or more Districts all over Sabah. Even during the pandemic (2020-2022) I still travelled when the MCO was lifted by the government. Even until last November 2025, I drove for 5 hours with 30 minutes break in Ranau for revival meetings of 3 sermons in a far away place. 

I believe it was not in vain. I remember well one District leader, not quite sure how to vote in our AGM last January just 4 months ago, I told him to be brave. It is in his hands - vote with your heart, wanting change for the better, then go for it. I have always gone for it and will do so until kingdom comes or the Lord calls me home. May I never be settled on my lees but keep on following Christ Jesus my Lord wherever He goes (Rev 14:1-5).