This will be the first time I am missing the midweek service tonight. I am resting and recuperating. a broken spirit dries up the bones. I was in great dismay on Monday even as I reflect on events of recent days. But when I opened my house door I saw a leaflet from Singapore and it came as a breath of fresh air, I am with you, I have chosen you and not cast you away. Do not be dismay for I am with you (Isaiah 41,10). But the sadness remains. Love or loving people has its consequences especially those you love do not respond accordingly. Are not the prophets the voice of God spurned by his lover, Israel, sometimes threatening retribution, sometimes regretting and forgiving. Even when I speak against you, my heart is stirred within me; how can I forsake the child I have borne and raised up? I wonder how often foreigners and foreign countries have blessed me.
Who am I without New Zealand? All my learning, secular and spiritual come from the land below the long white clouds. How NZ universities had given me opportunities twice awarding me postgraduate scholarship in theology. Even if my own country's universities offer theology I seriously doubt I would have had similar opportunities as I had elsewhere. Even in Singapore, how a number of churches and friends have blessed me. Not only I had many open doors of ministry but there are individuals I got to know, some my former students, some church friends whom I had ministered to, they have been a great blessing. Like the leaflet from this half way church, it came at the right time and spoke to me as if from the Lord. For them to send me news since I am back in Malaysia is already an encouragement. How true the Psalmist declares, tears may flow overnight but when the day comes joy returns in large measure. Just when I thought I would give up, the Lord sends me a blessing beyond measure. For 6 months when I was waiting for my denomination's placement I did not dare to venture far lest the appointment comes and we have to start immediately. But now a door of opportunity comes for me to travel to far away places and it is all paid for, only by the grace of God. Only last Sunday I preached about the beatitude, blessed are the merciful and in Malay, murah hati can mean being generous. So the beatitude can be translated this way, blessed are the generous for they shall receive generosity. And today I have received not 100 fold but 1,000 fold what I gave last week to that little Filipino girl who served tables.