In the Hot Seat

I am glad for the first time in my 7th month as pastor, the chairman of the church council chaired last night’s meeting. I still have to speak out often but I am no longer in the hot seat as in the previous six months I was asked to chair all the meetings. I still had to calm troubled hearts and minds and arbitrate disputes between elders and deacons. The goal is church unity starting with the unity of the church council.

Pastor-Scholar

Last Sunday I played the fool and spoke about my two primary gifts, preaching and teaching. If it is a gift from the Lord, there is no ground for boasting, so says Paul the apostle (1 Cor 4:7). I was preaching about those who have the Spirit know the gifts given to them by the Lord. But often times, people just sit in the pews and not serve as if they are not gifted at all. Of course, I cited the lazy slave who was given one talent but hid and buried it. But those with two or five talents traded with their talents and made many more talents for their Lord.

My Book in 50 countries in 6 Continents

The first eight days of June was super hectic. I preached for 7th consecutive Sunday. After next Sunday I shall be taking a week break to prepare for the End-Time seminar. Yesterday, we celebrated Pentecost Sunday with just over 100 worshippers. Our one unit shop-lot church hall could hardly hold anymore. It started with a dance and tambourine presentation with the song, "Yahweh Elohim..." and it was most powerful as my soul shook a couple of times as I sat there meditating on God's love and power. Then we had a wonderful worship with three songs then came the Bible reading of Revelation 11:1-12.

The Week that Was and Still Is

I thought I could not beat the month of May. But June started with a bang. I preached one of my best sermons on Sunday 1st June, being my half year anniversary in my current ministry. On Monday, 2nd June I gave an webinar on "faith and sacrifice in the context of leadership" at 8pm and took 7 questions in less than 25 minutes. I was tired after the hour long session and I did not sleep well Monday night. At 7.30am the next day I turned on my WhatsApp after getting up before 6am. My friend asked me whether I would be attending the SIB College's 60th anniversary events. I asked him whether we should go up together.

Serving the Lord

The month of May ends tomorrow midnight. I still have a prayer meeting to lead tonight and tomorrow’s worship rehearsal. I can’t remember when I had a break from preaching. But I felt the anointing strong and on Sunday I shall be speaking of end-time harvest conciding with harvest festival celebrated with the majority tribe here in Sabah and on Sunday’s Gawai celebrated by Dayaks, Ibans and the natives of Sarawak. But this month is a month in the Lord’s service.

Betrayal

It’s been five weeks. I thought I got over the sense of betrayal that I felt 5 weeks ago. But the pain does not go away. In fact I would not be writing about this if I did not know what to do going forward. It was not right to step down in less than half a year and many members would be shocked if I did, so I bore with the insult and betrayal but the wound did not heal after 5 weeks.

Pressing On & Planning Ahead

In the past couple of days I had sleepless nights. Just as Sunday night could be taxing after the exertions of the weekend and it was hard to relax and let the mind wind down. On Tuesday night, we had our church council meeting and again I was asked to chair the meeting which I duly obliged. As it was our first business since the election of office bearers last month, the meeting went for just over three hours and we ended at 11pm sharp. In fact, I had to apologise to the council members for the lateness when we were still on AOB at 10.30pm. But we managed to get many things done, not least the activities and programme for the next few months including our Leaders' Retreat scheduled at for the first week of December.

Where are the Men?

The proposed Young Men's Fellowship happened only twice since I suggested to form such a group early in the year. Yesterday on Mothers' Day, it was an eye opener although we had talked about it for a while. There could be 40 mothers who went up as I invited them to come forward to be prayed for but there were hardly ten men seated in the hall. That meant at least 30 women attended church without their husbands. Where are the men? I know it has been a trend among churches that we are losing men. Even young men, only seven of them took part in our Young Men's fellowship while there are easily 20 plus young women who will attend the Youth gathering. It looks like the percentage of women over men is getting ever larger, last time it was two-thirds female to one-third guys but now out of the four women, there is only one man. Where are the men? I need to take time to pray and wait on the Lord for answers.

Baptism of the Holy Spirit (43rd Anniversary)

I received news of the new Pope being elected early this morning. While digesting the news, it dawned on me that the Pope was elected midnight Malaysian time (6pm, 8th May Italy) which is today, the 9th May. It happens to be the 43rd anniversary of the baptism of the Holy Spirit that I experienced at the 3pm prayer meeting at Clyde Street, a road at the side of the University of Canterbury, Christchurch.

Eventful First Week in May

I thought I was going to take a break on Labour Day on 1st May but there was a home group to attend to. Thankfully the traffic was not that bad since it was a public holiday and my wife and I duly arrived at the home of the hosts in good time. I shared for about 20 minutes from two passages but that the labourer is worthy of his wages (Luke 10:7) and from Psalm 17 how the Psalmist said that in his righteousness he will see God's face. I told the home group how essential we continue to be righteous and do righteousness id we want to behold God's face which is truly a privilege by His grace. I can understand why many people cannot see God's face and their worship is routine or following basic instincts instead of being moved by the Holy Spirit into God's presence.

Conducting a Native Engagement Ceremony

It’s been hectic in the past 10 days. Since the Passover and Resurrection Sunday services it has been non-stop for me. First, I attended the first home group last Thursday and this Thursday there will be another cell group. Then on Friday I led prayers on the weekly prayer meeting but an hour before that I met a young couple wanting to be engaged which happened to be the next day, last Saturday. I talked with them and wanting to be sure that they were ready to get engaged and married in 6 months’ time.

Fellowship of the Saints & Zeal

This morning I had fellowship with a couple whose new house I prayed for exactly two years ago. It was as if we met a week or a month ago but alas two years had passed. So there was much to catch up and they wanted to invite me to their daughter’s wedding reception in June and also invited me to speak in their village church in July. It was good catching up.

Birthday Today

I have always celebrated my spiritual birthday more than the day I was born. And also the day when I entered full-time ministry on 1st Dec 1994. These two dates mark two most significant events, the first my spiritual rebirth being found by Christ, dead in sin, now forgiven and raised to new life in Him. The second is equally important as it was the day I obeyed the Lord’s call to commit my life to Him in full-time ministry. After nearly 31 years I have not looked back. 

A Glorious Passover

In five days I felt like Christ Jesus my Lord, as if risen from the dead. Last Tuesday I was at death's throes, and very few would blink an eye if I were left to die. But in the end, I snatched victory out of the jaws of defeat. Perhaps those who wanted me dead had to see what the Lord was doing through His servant. For the first time in the church's history, we had big crowds on Good Friday and even more yesterday on Resurrection Sunday. Who says the pastor makes no difference? Pastors are lowly in our contexts, but I will not allow others to put me down, as if left to die. Even in death, God raises us up again. God put up a show. No one expected that every seat would be taken on Good Friday. Normally in our church, when it is long weekend, people return to their villages. Many tribal folks have attachments to their villages, and they take every opportunity to return to their hometowns or villages.

Departure Points Vol.2

I would not think of writing another volume of my autobiography at least until I turn 70 years old. But now I think I might do it when I turn 65 years old. I have much materials to share and this time my approach will be a psycho-analysis of human behaviour in Christ’s service. Even last night I experienced a whole range of emotions as if in a roller coaster.

The Success of David and the Jealousy of Saul

Yesterday I preached a 45 minute sermon on this topic based on 1 Samuel 18-20. It turned out better than I had wished for - all 10 point sermon in 45 minutes. I even joked that normally one gets a 3 or 5 point sermon but the church is doubly blessed because in this church you get a 10 point sermon. Three chapters in 45 minutes requires some skill to get all the points across with the context briefly explainee as I read 1 Sam 18:1-15 in full. Why do people get jealous at others’ success? It is perennial problem since the time of Cain and Abel, since the first born of Adam and Eve.

The Successful Suffers

If you want peace and quiet with no opposition, then do nothing. Once you do something for God, the devil will not be happy and he will stir up fleshly and worldly human beings to persecute you. It's the devil's envy, surely the "original sin". Abel's offering was accepted as he gave the best, the fats of the lambs, and he was killed by his elder brother whose offering was rejected. It was envy that led to murder. The first murder, a fratricide was as a result of envy. Whenever you do something or give something in God's glory, you will face opposition. When I reflected on 1 Sam 18-20, it was like the story of my life. I remember when I was elected to the Executive Council, many became jealous.

Success, Anger and Jealousy

The story of Jonathan and his father, King Saul and their relationship with David deserves much study which I have meditated on since last Sunday. I have read the text of 1 Sam 18-20 over and over again and every time the Lord showed me things that I might preach on this Sunday. I do not know how long my time with this church will be; it could be just for a short time, a year or maybe a long term pastorate but I would not think so far ahead. After the AGM last Sunday concluded, I felt in a way my job is done and I can move on, whether to stay or to go I leave to the Lord as He directs the heart of the king as He directs streams of a river.

Jonathan & David

In these three chapters of 1 Samuel 18-20, Jonathan as much as David is the hero. Jonathan takes up as much space in these chapters as David, the Lord’s chosen. First, Jonathan loved David as his own soul. Maybe David was about his own age, but most likely younger than Jonathan as David could not be older than 20 years when the events took place as recorded in 1 Sam 18-20.

Rule-Based Governance in Church

This morning I have somewhat recovered from the events of the past several weeks leading the Church's AGM last Sunday. From the first meeting that I chaired in mid December last year I had set the ball rolling and planned out the meetings, seminars, retreats leading to the recently concluded AGM. I conducted a seminar of our Church's constitution which somewhat remains an elusive document to many members and leaders. In fact, at the denominational level, I started the ball rolling in 2017 and gave seminars on the Church's constitution State wide three years in a row (2017-2019). A few hundred elders and candidates for eldership attended those meetings. And then the pandemic struck.

Preparing for the Passover and the Holy Communion

We conduct the Lord's Supper or holy communion first Sunday of every month, so this Sunday I am conducting the Lord's communion. This is especially significant as it will be a preparation for Good Friday or the Passover that we shall be celebrating on 18th April and Resurrection Sunday on 20th April. I shall be preaching in both services and conducting the Lord's supper on Good Friday as well. It's never easy. Although I am not preaching this Sunday even preparation to conduct the Lord's communion has taken me two full days as I shall be reading from Luke 22:1-30 a fairly lengthy passage this time to prepare the church to celebrate the Passover Feast on Friday the following week. It will be at least 10 minutes of sharing and then another 10 minutes members taking the elements of bread and wine (for us it is ribena or red cordial).

On the Verge of Giving Up

No man is unaffected by its surroundings, within and without pressures mount up until I felt like almost giving up. In fact, in the past fortnight I have given much thought of my ministry. Maybe I am not suited to this current place or pastorate, until to the point of giving up. My best friend in New Zealand when he heard about me teaching in Singapore, more than 15 years ago told me, "Intellectual compatibility" suggesting that Singaporean high educational standard would be compatible with me. In a way, I agree with him. It was in Singapore that I found my gifts appreciated the most, even the Singapore's government granted me and wife Singapore Permanent Residence on merits.

In loving and blessed memory of Angel

Today would have been Angel’s 21st birthday if she had lived beyond her two short years. My monograph on Revelation in 2005 is dedicated to Angel. She never left her hospital bed and her mother and another angel maid looked after her for more than two years. I visited my daughter every other day depending how busy I was in church. Even in the most severe trial, I did not stop trusting God. In Angel’s two years and two months on earth coincided with the greatest growth in church from just over 200 to 400 members (March 2004-Jun 2006).

Into the Fire

The devil is most displeased when godly leadership is exercised for the good of the church. I felt I was thrown into the deep end, into the fire as I chaired the church council meetings for the 4th time since I became pastor. Though it is not my duty to do so, as I do not hold any administrative post except being the church pastor. I am most glad to relinquish it, though I know it will create a new set of problems if meetings are not conducted properly and decisions not followed through to their conclusions. I wonder why some people think becoming a leader is top of their agenda even if they do not have the ability to lead, not alone to bring changes to the congregation. I am happy to do less unless doing more really brings forth fruits for God’s glory.

In a Foreign Land

I wrote in the heading of a chapter of my life in a local seminary as time spent in Philistine territory like David who spent 16 months there when he was persecuted by King Saul. Those 13 months “gainfully employed” plus five months of waiting for my next ministry were quickly forgotten as I am into the fourth month of my fourth pastorate. It seems I enjoy it more than my three previous engagements.

A New Beginning

One friend who sent me well wishes on my 30th anniversary of full time ministry in the Lord told me, “A new beginning” perhaps in reference to my new pastorate which I had now just passed three and a half months in service. I can truly say in many ways it was a new beginning. It was my first pastorate after the Covid pandemic that led to my ceasing of my previous pastorate. It was after three churches and three Seminaries (two in Sabah and one in Singapore). It seems my first half of my life ended in threes. Even my books I published before 1st Dec 2024 were six books, three in Malay and three in English and the 7th is in Malay. Likewise I had presented academic papers in three Universities in three different countries. And I start anew in this little church.

Meaningful & Impactful

The first I can attest to because what I am doing is meaningful, at least to me. Whether it is significant and impactful I leave it to God to judge. Some of my friends without them saying aloud wonder why I am stuck with one community, a lowly and poor segment of the society but that’s where I believe God wants me to be and I am not sure how long it will last, this pastorate, the relationship between the pastor and his flock. In the book of Zechariah the bond between the shepherd and the flock could be broken, and I experienced that when my former church insisted on the requirement of vaccination. Even a member of Parliament I spoke to recently told me that if he had a choice he would not have been vaccinated. And he also acknowledged that some of his friends had serious side effects.

Preaching Non-Stop & Translating the Malay Bible

Last Sunday was supposed to my break from preaching but last minute some church leaders caught the news that I was coming up to Ranau and they invited me to preach in my former church. I had many fond memories there not least averaging two sermons a week making it 100 sermons within the year of 2015. Yes, it was 10 years ago and I had turned 50 and now I am a decade older. But in my spirit I am in the pink of spiritual health.

Keeping my Promise: Celebrating 80th birthday of an Elder

By next Monday I would have completed my first 100 days in my new pastorate. This Sunday I shall be preaching on the 99th day of my ministry in this small local church of average 90 adults assembled in a one shop lot unit at the border of Kota Kinabalu and Penampang, about 14kms from my house. My first Likas church was only about 6kms away, then 9kms in my third church and now a few more kilometres away. Yet, it is within the Kota Kinabalu city precinct. I spent the weekend in Ranau on the 1st March, About 7 years ago, two years after I relinquished my 2nd pastorate of a rural church in Ranau, I told an elder who frequently required medical review that he would be celebrating his 80th birthday and I would come and celebrate with him. I have kept my promise.

What We do for Friends

In the past few years, especially during the Pandemic and post-pandemic, one gets to realise who remain one's true friends. I have been doing things mainly for friends. If he or she is a friend, I tend to accept invitations to preach or to minister. A stranger or not-sure friends, I am less inclined. Even now and right now, I am in a dilemma. I have to travel outstation to visit a friend whom I said many years back (7 or 8 years ago) that he would reach 80 years old and I will celebrate with him his 80th anniversary. I am not sure whether I could really go up to Ranau but I will do my utmost to fulfil my good friend's wish to have me as his former pastor celebrate his 80th birthday.

Preaching in the Anointing

 It was unusual last Sunday as I sensed clearly the anointing once I started preaching from Ephesians 4:3-16. I spent the first 6 minutes talking about a former missionary who was the most influential pioneer of our movement among the Dusuns of Sabah in the late 1930s and then after the Second World War. The first local churches in Ranau were started in 1947. After that, I launched into my preaching and I felt the anointing for the next 45 minutes of the sermon, right to the end. In fact, I felt it was the highlight of my last three sermons, each having been anointed more than the previous one. This Sunday I shall be preaching my 4th consecutive sermon and I pray by God's grace the anointing will be upon me as I preach. I felt for last Sunday's sermon, I had spent a whole week, from Monday to Sunday morning, about 50 hours within the week to preach that 50-minute sermon.

77 Days

I shall be preaching this Sunday on my 11th Sunday with the church from the 1st Dec 2024 which happened to be a Sunday and my commencement as pastor. I am under no illusion of the challenges in front of me with so many things to do. Many things established over the years are set in motion and being done the same way without asking whether these things have biblical foundations. Unless there is a teaching priest in the house of the Lord, it is hard to see the congregation advances in anyway, spiritually and numerically.

My Third Month

This is my third month in my fourth pastorate and it is coming to my 10th week. It seems I have been around forever. I attend all church meetings, from prayer meetings, rehearsals and council meetings. As this is our election year it will get busy from now on. This Sunday we will launch our membership drive to prepare for our AGM slotted on the first Sunday in April, exactly 2 months from now. In the meantime I will lecture on our church’s Constitution which I plan to do every three years according to our election cycle.

Church’s Mission and Outreach

I devoted one session in the leaders’ retreat last Thursday to discuss the church’s mission and outreach, first in our Jerusalem/Kota Kinabalu and our Judea (Sabah). We prayed in our final session as we sought God’s will. Just two days on I felt I know the answer as to where we are going. First I met an elder and church chairman and he invited me to visit his church anytime and soon and in his words “this year”.

Leaders’ Retreat

I have planned this since I accepted the call to pastor the church in early October. The turnout was encouraging with 33 participants from a 100 member church. That’s 33% which is much higher than the 20% of many churches where those who are actively involved are at most 20 percent of the membership. Moreover it was a public holidays and most of my members will normally take the opportunity to return to their home villages. But the first session was great being fresh as I shared for an hour and 5 minutes after a short 15 min praise and worship to start off the proceedings.

Year of the Snake

For the past few days I was in the zone, whether it is a public holiday or not, I work all the time. Even driving to my brother's place last night for New Year's Eve dinner, I was thinking about my three sessions that I needed to lead and speak during tomorrow's leaders' retreat. Sure, I could rest the next day on Friday but I am slotted to lead prayers on Friday, usually preceded by a 15 min sharing from God's Word. On Saturday if my energy levels permit, I will attend the Rehearsal by the worship team and by the time I return home it will be 11pm at night and the next morning on a Sunday I normally get up before 5am to prepare myself to preach in the Sunday service at 9am. Who is adequate for all these?

Year of the Dragon (a Review)

In a few days' time the Year of the Dragon is coming to an end. I have had a roller coaster of a year. But God is great. He is faithful to His promises. When the Year of the Dragon started early last year, I was well in advance in making plans to leave my former Seminary in Kota Kinabalu as I had tendered my resignation in October the previous year. But I had three subjects to teach, all new courses that I wanted to teach especially the Song of Songs and the NT Greek language (Level 2 or Intermediate Greek). Again at the start of the Year of the Dragon, last March I was surprised to hear what the ATESEA (accreditation body of my former Colleges including TTC in Singapore) had to say and I remember well that the five main points the Committee raised were ones that I thought I could make a significant contribution at the Seminary.

Trump's Triumph

I have not seen a greater political comeback since I got interested in world politics during the President Carter's election bid in 1976 than in Trump's triumph in last November's US Presidential Election. I am not sure I can stay up to 1am 21st Jan Malaysian time to witness Trump's taking of the oath of office. By all accounts he was out and down for more than 2 years prior to the Nov election. He was shot once and the second time was a close shave as well. He spent half his time in courts fencing off multiple civil and criminal trials. He was convicted and now has the infamy of being the first convicted felon to hold the highest office in the United States of America. But I was backing Trump all along. I am a non-political person just as I was backing Obama, at least in his first term. When I listened to Trump's speeches, he made sense to a far away foreigner like me, and for sure he made a lot of sense to his fellow Americans.

Inflation Hits Home

It seems every time I visit Pizza Hut the price of pizza has gone up. It is RM29.00 for a large pizza and RM19.00 for a regular. The large pizza cost RN18.00 just a few years ago which means in less than five years cost of pizza had risen more than 50%. Salary has gone up perhaps 10 percent in the last five years hardly accounting for the rate of inflation. In churches, salaries have actually gone down. When you are paying RM2,000.00 for a senior pastor of 20 years experience then can you expect one who is skilled and knowledgeable?

Golden Mouth

John Chrysostom was known as the golden-mouthed preacher. His preaching attracted thousands to the SUNDAY services of his time. My preaching attracts about 110 adults per Sunday but about 90 adults were regular worshippers before I came in a pastor. There has been a small increase in attendance since early December averaging 110 adults. Yesterday I saw the back benches filled to the full with a couple of vacant seats in front. In fact as I went up to preach the second front row was filled with new people.

Church & Vision

As long as I have been active in church, I have always regarded my church as my family. The sense of community must be present if it is true church as many social clubs and institutions also put much emphasis on community, a sense of belonging, Last night it was quite unusual for about 40 people turned up for a Friday night and it was mainly due a a thanksgiving dinner we had before the prayer meeting. I was at church by 5pm having driven from home at 4pm to escape the peak hours after 4pm. It was my turn to preach and lead prayers and I shared from Psalm 45:4-8 about the warrior riding on a horse going out conquering with truth, meekness and righteousness.

First Sunday 2025 Lord's Supper

I could not have wished for a better start to the New Year. The church hall was packed into a small one unit shop lot. On the second floor which the church also rented, 25 kids followed Sunday School. The worship went for 35 minutes which was fine and I preached close to one hour, the first 15 minutes about the New Year and resolutions and plans for the church, then I launched into my main message about the Lord's Supper as I expounded 1 Cor 11:17-34. When the closing prayer was said, I looked at my watch and it was 11am sharp exactly 2 hours had run for our first Sunday of 2025. Then one elder and I moved to the back of the church to greet the church members leaving the church hall and I shook with about 100 of them, as 20 worshippers had already made their way downstairs as I stood near the entrance.

Downward Slide

If I were to rate my three former pastorates, the first was the best followed by the second. The third was the toughest as it was during the height of the pandemic that I pastored the church and had to relinquish my duty as pastor when vaccination mandate came into force within my denomination. The fourth is just into the 2nd month and I am no longer naive or even optimistic that it would reach the height of my first and second pastorates. My first church more than doubled its membership in 5 years growing from 200 to 450 regular worshippers.

Quality Masters & Doctoral Degree in Theology

As for the church, it can never be paper chase or degree accumulation for the sake of prestige or payrise or career prospects, as Christ has given to the church first apostles, second prophets, third teachers and pastors and evangelists to equip the saints. The centre of equipping is within the church and not Seminaries or the academy. I am not saying Seminaries and Theological Universities or Colleges are not important, but if they are useful, it is to train pastors in biblical languages, read the texts in their original languages.

Quality MTheol or PhD in the Bible

I told my Christmas audience in Keningau that I had packed away my doctoral regalia when asked to bring it along during a recent convocation address I gave in Sarawak. In Malaysia as a whole with much regret and grief I can say most MTheol or doctoral programmes are not up to international standards by any measure one would want to evaluate it.

This Corner of the Earth

When I attended an international conference at Yonsei University 9 years ago I had coffee with a Harvard tenured Professor in theology and after he told me he had published four books to secure tenure I replied that I akso wrote just one book published by T & T Clark (2005). His eyes lit up in “disbelief” that in that corner of the earth called Sabah or North Borneo, someone actually published a book of any note and still constantly referred to in monographs commentaries and journal articles. Now I pastor a church of the lowly and B40 group of Malaysia of the native peoples of Sabah in a little corner of Kota Kinabalu. But God loves them ans He is no respecter of persons.